By Jyoti Jha
You are going through a divorce, and the last thing you want at the moment is more trouble to deal with. However, unfortunately, there are more complications wrapped under that one little devastating word. Alimony, asset divisions, legal fees, and yes, the most vulnerable bit of it all, custody battles for your children. After all, they are children, the innocent bystanders who are hurt just as much as the people going through the divorce, if not more.
How to win a custody battle? It would be wonderful if all parents could easily agree on custody matters without any problems. However, when parents get a divorce, things can become tough. Sometimes they both agree on things, and other times, they don’t. When parents no longer get along, they might have different ideas about what’s best for their kids.
This can make it hard for them to work together and talk to each other. Even couples who are of the same sex or who live together without getting married might find it confusing to know their legal rights about custody. If you are going through something similar and are wondering “how to win a custody battle?” We are here to help you.
Your Head Start To Child Custody
If you are a parent going through a divorce, “How to win a custody battle?” is a question that is definitely on your mind.
Child Custody In Its True Sense
Child custody is the concept through which the courts determine which parent is responsible for taking care of a child when the parents are going through a legal separation or a divorce. It’s about deciding where the child will live, who will make important decisions for them, and how they’ll spend time with each parent. Let’s explore what child custody means in a simple and sensitive way, focusing on both parents and the children involved.
The person getting child custody is the one making sure that the kids have a safe, loving, and stable place to grow up.
The parent or the guardian getting child custody gets to decide where the child will live most of the time. In some cases where the parent in custody works, they might stay with the other parent or guardian. They might also reach an understanding where they spend equal time with both parents.
What Are The Different Types of Custody?
The “how to win a custody battle?” question is best answered after knowing a bit more about child custody and custody battles in the first place. There are different kinds of custody arrangements.
- First, physical custody. Here, the person having custody decides where the child lives.
- In legal custody, the person having custody makes big decisions for the child.
- In the case of joint custody, both parents share responsibilities and decisions.
- Sole custody is the type where the parent in custody has most of the responsibilities and decisions.
When Do Custody Battles Originate?
Custody battles take place when parents cannot decide or have disputes about who should take care of a child or the children. The parents might be legally separated or divorced, and they can’t agree on important things about their kids.
The parents have trouble deciding or disagree on how to share their responsibilities. This can include where the child lives, who makes decisions for them, and how much time they spend with each parent.
Each parent might have their own opinion about what’s good for the child. They might disagree about schooling, medical decisions, or even where the child should spend holidays. These differences can turn into a custody battle.
How To Win A Custody Battle?
Most people who have gone through a bitter divorce will tell you to be distant from your ex-partner with whom you have this ongoing custody battle. However, as mature adults, we can all agree that the answer to how to win a custody battle is not with hostility, hatred, or ill will. Being disrespectful to your ex-partner is only going to make your child suffer more and feel alone. So, before you go into court asking and fighting for full custody, try to prove you are a worthy parent first.
Things To Do Before The Custody Battle
Note that you always want to show the court that you are capable and should have custody of your child. These are the things you can do to make sure that happens.
Think Of Your Child First
Always keep your child’s well-being in mind. Show that you want what’s best for them. During the battle, you must be able to show the judge that you are more than willing to put your child’s needs before your own.
Know What Is Going On In Their Lives
Show that you’re an active and caring parent. Spend quality time with your child and be part of their life. Attend school events, doctor’s appointments, and other important activities.
Stability For The Child Is Your Responsibility
Make sure your living situation is stable and safe. A comfortable and nurturing environment is essential for your child’s growth.
Be A Parent In Its True Sense
Be responsible for your actions. This means that you should know how your decisions affect the children and their future. As a responsible parent, you can start by managing your finances, maintaining a clean and organized home, and taking care of your child’s needs, like education, food, health, and happiness.
Do Not Display Non-Cooperative Behaviour
Rember, your child has already been through a tough time The last thing they need is further conflict. Be a good communicator with the other parent and your child. Show them that although times are hard, there is no reason to be scared. If you can cooperate and work together for your child’s sake, it will be beneficial for all parties involved.
It Is Very Important To Keep Records
Keep track of all the things that can prove your involvement in your child’s life. This can involve keeping a list of your visits, communications, and other important events. This can help in proving your dedication to the court and your child.
Do Not Hinder Or Sabotage Your Child’s Relationship with the Other Parent
Support your child’s relationship with the other parent. Your child should never feel the need to choose between parents. If you are facing difficulty with getting your child to talk or get along with you, give them time. They will calm down, process their feelings and eventually come back to you once they feel comfortable enough. Imposing is not the way to go.
Do Not Disobey the Law
During custody battles, if there are temporary custody orders or visitation schedules ordered by the Court of law, do not go against them. These orders are given for a reason and by professionals who have years of experience in dealing with family disputes.
Stay Calm At Home And Especially In The Public Eye
Be it at home, in public places, or if your case goes to court, make sure to stay calm and respectful. Your behavior should under no circumstance scare your child or display violence. You can get agitated in such difficult situations, but make sure not to take it out on your ex-partner, family members, the judge, or worse, your child. Parents portraying violent or hostile behavior are harming their own relationship with the child and also their case. Be calm, honest and act according to your child’s best interests.
Join Therapy or Support Groups
Please don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. You may be a single parent going through a divorce, and a custody battle is sometimes bound to break your heart or your back. Whether it’s therapy, counseling, or support groups, do it. It can help you to be in contact with a mental health expert to process your emotions right now. It will also show the Court later on that you’re willing to grow and improve can be beneficial.
You can also try and get your child to talk to a therapist. This can help your bond and help their mental health. Children are prone to develop eating disorders, depression, and other forms of harmful practices while going through difficult custody battles. Make sure to be there and support them in their difficult time.
Be Consistent In Your Behaviour
With all that is going on around the house, dads and mums moving out and changing homes, consistency translates to safety for a child. If you can develop a stable and consistent routine for your child’s daily life, it will benefit you all. It will also show the Court that you know what you are doing and you’re doing great!
Please remember that custody cases can take time. Be patient, and this too shall pass!
Can You Lose A Custody Battle? Why?
If you are going into a custody battle, you know there can be multiple outcomes. You can win, lose or get joint custody. However, the question, “how to win a custody battle?” can be answered best by telling you what actions lead to you losing the battle.
It’s like they often say, if you don’t know what you want, figure out what you don’t want first.
Here are a few things that could make you lose a custody battle. This should answer a part of your “How to win a custody battle?” question, too. If you find anything in here that you do, or have done in the past, try reaching out to your lawyer to ask how to approach it best.
A Parent That Is Hardly Involved In The Child’s Life
It is certainly not a competition. However, logically speaking, if you were the judge, would you not let the parent showing genuine and more interest in the child’s life have custody as opposed to one who shows no interest?
Courts appreciate such parents are interested and actively take part in the child’s life. This does not just include fun activities like taking them to the movies or out for a burger. The activities that actually matter like the child’s education, medical and mental health needs, sports that the child plays, and also emotional involvement.
Parent That Is Here for The Good Times Is Not A Parent
A child has basic needs. When these are met, they grow up to be wholesome responsible individuals. Food, clothing, medical care, and a comfortable home are necessary for a child. If you, as a parent, cannot provide these for your child, the court will definitely not grant you custody.
Child Abuse Is Punishable
If you have been violent to your child, physically, emotionally, or even abused them verbally, it spells trouble for you. The court does not just frown upon such practices but also punishes them. Make sure to seek therapy so that you can at least prove to the court that you are making efforts to change.
A Parent That Leads an Unhealthy Life Will Promote An Unhealthy Life
A lifestyle that involves substance abuse, excessive drinking, or engaging in illegal activities can raise concerns about a parent’s ability to provide a stable and safe environment.
Misbehaving With the Coparent Is Immature and A Red Flag
If you are unwilling to cooperate and communicate with the other parent, the court will see this as an inability to be a co-parent to your child. This is not the message you want to convey. So make sure to be civil to the co-parent, at least for your child’s sake.
Turning your child against the other parent by badmouthing or manipulating them is harmful to your child and to your case as well.
Going Against the Court
Court orders are there for a reason. Going against them or showing blatant disrespect is not going to get you too far. A lack of respect for the Court and the legal process could lead to the Court believing that you are not serious enough as a parent.
Not A Good Idea To Cancel Plans With Your Child or Change Them Last Minute
Canceling or rescheduling visitation times can show the Court you are not serious about your child’s needs. Most children look forward to their parents visiting. Thus, it can also show that you do not care enough to not hurt the child’s feelings.
Using Your Child As A Pawn Or Messenger
Putting a child in the midst of adult conflicts causes them to be hurt, traumatized and makes them distant. The court can interpret them as your lack for consideration of the Child’s needs.
If You Are/Were An Addict, Drugs And Gambling, or Have A Criminal History
Being in an environment including drugs, alcohol, or criminal activity can be immensely hurtful toward the child. The court is bound to go against siding with the parent involved in these activities.
Not A Good Idea To Move Or Take The Child Without Other Parent Knowing
If you cannot inform the court or the other parent and decide to move away, or worse, take the child with you, it can be seen as an attempt to lead the other party astray or even kidnapping. None of these is a good look for your case.
Final Word
“How to win a custody battle?” is something most parents fighting for custody ask.
Did you know that “how to win a custody battle as a father?”, “how to win a custody battle as a mother?”, and even “how to win a custody battle against a narcissist?” are some of the most Googled questions!
So, if you are facing a difficult time in this battle, you are not alone. A lawyer with expertise in family law can be a game-changer in custody battles. They help gather evidence and present your case in a compelling way. These experts will come up with strategies that best suit your needs and increase your chances of success.
They will keep court procedures simple for you and ensure everything is done correctly.
- Coming up with legal arguments,
- highlighting your strengths as a parent and also
- looking after settlements that protect your interests
are all looked after by a lawyer!
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